Blue Dream Page 9

  “Why do you want me to be day dreaming?”

  “Because reveries typically put a smile on people's faces like the one you're sporting now. Smiling releases endorphin. Endorphins make people feel good. You should always smile.”

  “Why are you in my door way?” I sigh. “Is there something wrong in one of the classrooms?”

  “No,” she reassures. “You're new family interview is here.”

  Interviewing the new parents allows for me to decide whether or not this is a good fit for me as much as it is for them. It's a three step process that starts with one or both of the parents, then the child comes in, hangs in the classroom, supervised with his or her parents, and the third interview has to be with both parents to discuss how we all feel by this point. To some it's taxing. To some it's not enough. For most it's perfect and those are the families I want. I need them to trust me to do my job, even when it's the last thing I feel like doing.

  With a false smile I insist, “Send them in.”

  Dana nods and ushers someone her direction. A tall man, dressed in a designer suit, rounds the corner into my office. Instantly my heart plunges. This can't be happening to me. There's no way this can happen to me. Not here. Not now. This peripeteia cannot be happening to me.

  He extends his hand. “Noah Collins.”

  In disbelief he doesn't remember who I am, I stand to my feet. “Presley Morrison.”

  Fastidiously he questions, his eyebrows now high in the air. “Did you attend Willow Park High School?”

  “I did.”

  “You used to date my brother, Ryder.”

  I swallow the extensive knot in my throat. “I did.”

  He unbuttons his suit jacket as he sits down. Nervously he jokes, “That's not gonna stop us from getting into this place is it? Because my wife would kill him to get us in here.”

  The humor causes me to smile. “No. It's not a problem.”

  “An asset?”

  My lips part slowly. “Not that either.”

  He offers me another charming smile. Noah Collins. The prized Collins son. When Ryder and I dated he was living the college life at its finest. He barely made time to come home outside the Sunday dinners he was forced to, twice a month. We never had any issues as far as I knew. Unlike when their father looked at me, Noah never seemed to be bothered by my existence. It was exactly the opposite. I felt like if anyone in their family understood the deep connection we had, it was him. But now that bond is broken and Noah is sitting in the office of the only other dream I ever chased fervidly.

  “Will your wife be joining us?” I politely ask, pulling out new parent paperwork from my office drawer.

  “Shelly is at home with Shelby who caught a cold. Nothing major,” he insists like it could get his child banned. “Just a few sniffles.”

  Sincerely I say, “Well I hope your daughter feels better soon.”

  “Thank you.” He glances at his wrist watch. “I do not mean to sound rude or impersonal, but is this going to take long? I have a lunch meeting with a client and his wife I'm supposed to be attending in about forty five minutes.” Without waiting for me to reply he informs, “I wasn't supposed to be here. Shelly was. But life happens and you deal.”

  In a soft mutter I agree looking down at the paperwork, “Ain't that the truth.”

  “So.” He clears his throat. “What is it you need from me?”

  “Just a few basic questions,” my professional tone comes out strong.

  I give my well-rehearsed speech about my principals and the foundations on which my program runs. I proceed with explaining my own hopes and asking what they are looking for in a school. Next, I line out developmental achievements and points they want to hear, and allow for him to ask questions about staffing, which seems to be his only major concern.

  Thankfully the discussion wraps up at almost thirty minutes exactly, him with a pleased smile, and me with enough anxiety in my stomach, I could throw up everything I've eaten for the last six days.

  Noah stands with his hand extended. “It was a pleasure.”

  “Thank you. On your way out please inform Dana to schedule your daughter's classroom tour for next week. If she is well and has been fever free for forty eight hours prior to the date, she may show up. If not, then you can just call us and reschedule. We do our best to be as flexible as we can.”

  “And that is appreciated.” Noah lets my hand go. Just seconds after he starts to walk towards the door, he stops, and turns. Dread drapes over me like a cape of devastation I don't want to wear. “You know it's odd...I just visited Ryder a couple days ago and now I'm here in your office.”

  I offer him a half smile, my mind now envisioning eating all of the emergency mints I have stashed in my desk.

  “I liked you two together.” His statement only increases the urge. One hand slides in his pocket and he softly hums, “You were perfect for each other.”

  A desire to cry mixes with my craving for something to shove in my mouth. Something greasy. Something so full of fat or sugar it'll put the emotions that are rising into a coma.

  He opens his mouth to continue, but through divine intervention his phone rings ending the topic. “I have to take this. I'll stop by Dana's to get us on the calendar. See you next week Miss Morrison.”

  “Presley is fine,” I inform, which makes him smile wide before taking the call.

  Once he's out of my office I flop back down into my chair, the back of my head hitting it hard. The air that should be returning to my lungs is being sucked out of the room at such a rapid rate it feels as if a vortex intended to kill me has been created. I have to get out of here. I have to. Right now.

  Abruptly, I grab my purse, my keys, and my jacket from their hooks. After locking up my office door, I turn to head for Dana who is sitting at her front office desk.

  Before I even have a chance to say something she gasps, “Oh my gosh you're sick aren't you?” My eyebrows furrow. “You're sweaty. You're shaking and you're frowning. All classic flu signs.”

  Fighting the instinct to roll my eyes about her frown comment, I nod. “Stomach flu just hit. Big time. I'm gonna leave the office for the day. Do you think you can keep everything covered?”

  “Staffing is fine. No more scheduled interviews for the day. I can run this ship,” she says with a blithesome arrogance. “Go home. Be sick. Get well soon. Oh! I can send you feel better balloons.”

  I bite my tongue to stop myself from snipping. “Please don't. I'll be back tomorrow.”

  “Maybe a singing telegram. Would you like that?”

  “No,” I insist heading from the front doors. “Just, rest will be enough. Call if you need anything, Dana.”

  “Will do.” She calls out. “Feel better!”

  Oh I will. As soon as I get exactly where I wanna be, I'll feel fantastic.

  **

  Gloria's Grande Burger makes hamburgers too big for your mouth and too big for your health. They are amazing. Greasy, cheesy, and always fill the gap they're intended for. Like some sort of cannibal who hasn't eaten in weeks, I lick the running grease from my fingers while the radio in my car has taken to taunting me with songs that only have romantic indications.

  Mid suck of dessert is when my phone rings. Reluctantly, I hit the answer button.

  Katherine quickly snaps, “Presley Morrison, where are you?”

  Suspicious on how she knows, I counter, “Why are you at the school early?”

  “I decided to play the good mother card and pick up Angel early for some together time before our appointment tonight-”

  “Can we cancel that?”

  “No,” she snaps. “Now tell me, where are you?”

  After sucking the food from my teeth, I have a sip of my milkshake. “At home...”

  “Oh yeah? What's in your mouth?”

  Swallowing, I reply, “Mouthwash.”

  “Uh-huh.” Katherine's judgmental glare can be felt through the phone. “Chocolate or vanilla.”

  With
a heavy sigh, knowing I've lost the battle, I reply, “Swirl.”

  There's a ruffling sound before she declares, “I am dropping Angel off with my mother who is going to be so excited for the surprise visit, she's going to demand to keep her granddaughter until tomorrow and then I'm coming by your apartment. Clear?”

  I nod even though I know she can't see me.

  “Good. Now throw whatever remains away and I'll see you soon.”

  She hangs up before I can tell her, it's too late. I've eaten everything.

  When Katherine finally makes it to my apartment, she doesn't knock. She simply lets herself in. It's her nature. She barges in and does whatever she wants. It should annoy me, which it does, but not for the reason it should. It annoys me because she knows exactly what she wants all the time and has no problem going after it. I, on the other hand, get stuck between the hunger from feeding crazy dreams and the logical decisions that have more merit to be made.

  “Explain,” she demands sitting down beside me.

  “Noah Collins was my family to interview today.”

  “Noah Collins...?”

  “Ryder's older brother.”

  Her purse drops onto my glass coffee table. “Like the Ryder we've been discussing the last couple of days.”

  I reach for the fizzy temptress I haven’t danced with in months. “Exactly.”

  A glare comes from her. “What's in there?”

  After having a sip, I groan, “I needed the caffeine.”

  “You didn't need the caffeine.” Katherine snatches the plastic cup from me. I pout. My yoga pants covered ass sinks further into the couch. “Nor did you need the heart attack you consumed for lunch.”

  In a mumble I argue, “I beg to differ.”

  “What you need is to talk, Presley.” I tug on the sleeves of my sweatshirt. “You, my beautiful chocolate goddess, need to talk.” Unsure how I feel about the strange compliment I keep my mouth shut. “You bottle up rather than deal with confrontation. You’d rather shove something in your mouth until the storm passes, but you need to talk. You are entitled to talk. And I'm always hear to listen.”

  While watching Katherine kick off her shoes I sigh, “I know. It's just....after Ryder, during the last stretch of things with him, I guess...I don't know, I found it easier to say nothing than to fight for something.”

  “But you know how to fight,” she challenges. “When you are driven by passion, you are the biggest fighter I know. Look at the school.” Her nod to the only dream I had as hard as being Mrs. Presley Collins, makes me smile. “But not everything needs to be a fight. Sometimes, just venting and communicating can do wonders. Even when you hate the topic or are afraid of the results. I say that to you not as a best selling relationship counselor, but as your best friend.”

  I nod again. “I know.”

  “Good.” Without waiting for anything else from me she pulls out the dreaded recorder. “I think today's topic might help you get away from the longing nostalgia of yesterday, though as an important side note, that kiss sounded amazing.”

  The words drop immediately, “Best kiss of my life.”

  Her grin grows and I roll my eyes. “Best kisser?”

  “By. Far.”

  A small swoon comes from her before she shakes it away. She pushes the button on the device and says, “Love Can Push Your Morals.”

  Not thrilled with the topic choice, I run my fingers through my hair.

  “Do you agree?”

  “I do.”

  “Was there a time during 'the war' as you refer to it as, in which this happened? Was there a time where your own morals were put in question?”

  Unconsciously, I ruffle my hair once more. “I wasn't a super thin girl in high school. I had...more curves than I care to think about, but unlike Carmen, weight wasn't the shot I fired at my enemies. Typically, I let her campaign for my innocence and smear the name of those who challenged me or stood against me. I didn't see the point in actively trying to hurt another like that. It wasn't me. It was her. Sure, I laughed and giggled and told her she should stop, but I knew who she was as much as she knew who I was. Carmen was Carmen, and I was me. We balanced each other, but one night...one night I became Carmen.”

  Blaze and his pathetic excuse for friends join me just as I am getting off the phone with my mom. I told her once I knew whose house we were crashing at for the night I'd call. Carmen wants to go to this party and her parents are in Boca, so she figured we could go with the plan of her getting a little tipsy, bringing a one nighter home, and enjoy the perks of being an only child.

  “We fucking lost,” Nathan gripes pulling out a cigarette. “All that hard work.”

  Hard work? Not quite.

  “You can’t smoke that out here,” Carmen quickly snaps. “It’s a crime. It’s school property.”

  “So,” he bites back getting in her face. “It ain’t like it’s my school.”

  Carmen's hand pulls back to slap him, something I've seen her to do to guys more often than she should be able to get away with, and I quickly stop her. “Don’t light it. Look we’re about to leave anyway. Smoke in the car.”

  “Fine.” Nathan slides it behind his ear. “Wouldn't want my smoke wasted on this dump anyway.”

  Blaze slides next to me happier than the rest.

  Happy to have put out one fire, I give him a skeptical look. “What’s with the smile? You lost….”

  “To a magician,” Carmen adds with her own devilish grin.

  “True, but I got to perform and I love that feeling. I got to do it with my best friends in front of the whole school, not to mention I had the girl of my dreams in the audience cheering me on.”

  The gentle smile on his face raises the guilt filling my stomach. He's not my dream anything. He's not even my dream distraction for the whole world to watch while Ryder and I continue to meet up behind closed doors. Dating Blaze causes more cheating rumors to fly at rapid rates than were ever thought of while Ryder and I were openly together. It feels like every other day I walk out of a class only to be hit with the latest gossip cycling through the mill on how low down, and skeezy he is. The worst part is I don't care if they're true or not, because he's a mere fill in. I know I should feel ashamed for using him this way. A tiny part of me does. That other part? The part that knows after we walk across that stage and summer hits, Ryder and I can skip town to start our new life together, is much bigger. Much louder. And something I care about much more. I know what we're doing is wrong, but I'll ask for forgiveness later.

  “Plus, now that I don’t have to rehearse, we can spend more time together.”

  Loathing the fact we could even be happy for a second, Nathan interrupts,“Wrong. We still have a mix tape to put out before Christmas, so…”

  “You just hate to see them happy don’t you?” Carmen points out. “I like when we're on the same page.” Not giving him a chance to add anything, she turns her head towards me. “So to Arik’s we go? I heard Mike Tessler from Eagle-wood is gonna be there. I wanna see if I can nail him before his girlfriend comes home from Paris.”

  “Yeah, I don’t feel like going anymore,” Nathan whines. “Let’s just go back to my house and chill.”

  “Nope,” Carmen shoots him down. “That bitch comes back at Christmas and Mike doesn't get out much. We're going. Besides you're always in that smelly fucking basement. Live a little.”

  “Yeah come on,” James begs.

  “Let’s just make an appearance!” Eli encourages.

  “No.” He pouts. His toddler antics make me glare. “Whatever. Look, you fools can go, but I’m gonna go back to my place. Gonna call a couple of huni bunnies…”

  Nathan smiles to himself, which is when Carmen slips in, “Make sure they don't have rabies.” When he grunts she deems herself successful and tosses her hands in the air. “Let's party!”

  Arriving at the party in my thigh high boots I am very acquainted with and a tight sweater dress that's perfect for the fall weather, I try t
o hide my surprise at how crowded it is. I haven't been to many parties since Ryder and I officially split. We made appearances at a few during our time together, but for the most part it was never about getting drunk and needing an excuse to make out. It was about hanging with friends who swore we never came up for air.

  On our way up the driveway that's littered with bitch beer drinking girls and obviously over horny dudes, we leave Blaze, Eli, and James to smoke a cigarette.